Review - Adolescent Radioactive Black Belt Hamsters: Volume 1, Issue 5

In which our heroes take a Greyhound bus, Clint picks up a girlfriend, they escape from the authorities, and their visit to Dizzyworld is cut short when they run into angry members of the P.L.O.


Eclipse Volume 1, Issue 5

Issue Number: 5
Publisher: Eclipse Comics
Publication Date: February, 1987

Art: Parsonavich
Letters: Sam Wray
Co-Editors: Don Chin, Letitia Glozer
Editor: Don Chin
Editor-in-Chief: Catherine Yronwode
Publisher: Dean Mullaney
Cover Art: Mike Dringenberg

Cover Price: $1.50
Current Price: $7.32 (eBay)
 
Preface / Personal Tangent

In this issue’s “Penumbra”, Catherine Yronwode talks about the possibility of getting dual citizenship for America / Germany. Who? What? Why? I have no idea. But it’s a new factoid I didn’t know about.

She also mentions that Letitia Glozer (her sister?) has joined the editorial staff, and that Mack Fraga, Production Person, has been promoted to Mack Fraga, Production Manager. (My condolences.)

Reading this makes me feel like it would be a lot of fun to work for a comics company. Low pay... Tight deadlines... The boss yelling at you while chomping on his (or her) cigar… Ah. Good times!

Working at a comics company would probably be about as fun as owning a comics shop. That used to be my dream, but I’ve pretty much abandoned it. I guess I shouldn’t give up on dreams so easy, but there seems to be no future in a business like that. The competition is too rough. I still love to visit comic shops though, especially old ones. Along with bookstores, flea markets, and other places filled with hidden treasure, just waiting to be discovered…

(*Ahem*) Getting back on track…

She mentions “Guerrilla Groundhog”. I have those 2 issues. They never made more than that. I just read them recently. Honestly, that series is kind of a dud. But the artwork is still enjoyable.

Story

The members of the PLO are in a van with Big Eddie Baxter, set out to find the Hamsters. A cameo appearance is made by Bob the Cat, in the “National Perspirer”.

Meanwhile, after the events of issue 4, the Hamsters say goodbye to The Heap. Jackie gets emotional at losing his friend. They get on board a bus, headed for Florida.

Meanwhile (again), Master Lock is still searching for the Hamsters and ends up in Holland.

Back on board, Clint runs into a girl named Randi, who he had met at a concert of The Dead Kennedys in July (Hmm? How could that have happened? I'm not seeing much of a break in the story from when they landed in America until now). When she finds out that they are the ones that blew up the Statue of Liberty, she becomes agitated. The bus driver overhears their conversation, and calls the Florida state police.

[Note: The comic is interrupted, so that Parsonavich can mention two people who he met at the Dallas Fantasy Fair in November of ’86. Their names are Dave and Jeff. Congratulations. You made it into the comic. And now you are in this blog.]

Back in New York, Bullhead Baxter, the prison warden, calls his son Big Eddie on the radio. He tells them to head toward Florida to find the Hamsters.

On the bus, after Randi and Clint smooch for a while. They are interrupted by Chuck, who tells them that he think he heard the bus driver call the cops. Randi offers to join and help them, and the Hamsters agree.

The bus is stopped by a police blockade. Quickly, Randi invents disguises for the Hamsters in the form of socks on their ears. The Hamsters go on all fours, and pretend to be dogs. The disguise fools the policeman, and the Hamsters escape.

They get some food at Mel’s Diner. After a brief run-in with Mel, they get back on the bus, and dispense with the socks.

Back in New York, the members of the P.L.O. board an airplane, headed for Florida.

While in Egypt, Master Lock is still searching for his students.

And in Omaha, Gene Worno wonders whether or not he should go through with his sex change operation.

The Hamsters arrive at Dizzyworld. As they are trying to decide what to see first – either Jumbo the Paraplegic Elephant, or Captain B.O. in 3-D, starring Jimmy Walker – they are greeted by Rickey Rat. Jackie goes crazy with happiness, while Clint flies into an angry rage. Clint beats up Rickey Rat, and leaves him on a bench. The group heads toward the Haunted House.

On the P.L.O.’s airplane, Mongo becomes airsick, and breaks open the door. This causes the plane to lose pressure, and plummet toward the ground. It crashes into Dizzyworld with a sickening “Scmurf” sound, right into the Haunted House.

The Hamsters see the crash, thinking it is part of the exhibit. A figure emerges from the ship – Mongo. He leaps toward the Hamsters, leaving this issue To Be Continued…

New Characters:

- Full Membership Roster of the P.L.O. (Pot Luck Organization):

      1. Billy B. Bibbit

      2. Jacques D’Baux

      3. Mongo

      4. Bobby Gorr

      5. Sister Mary Blister

      6. Parsonavich (Huh. Who knew?)

- Bobby – Kid on a bus who thinks the Hamsters are muppets.

- Randi – Punk rocker girl and Clint’s new girlfriend.

- Stella Stallone – Notorious mobster

- Willy the Weasel – Stella’s son

- Officer Kieth – A cop who almost catches the Hamsters, possibly related to Sam Kieth.

- Mel – Owner of Mel’s Diner and chef attacked by Jackie

- Flo, Vera, and Alice – Mel’s sitcom friends

- Sulu – Popular helmsman of the U.S.S. Enterprise

- Gene Worno – A man in Omaha contemplating a sex change.

- Rickey Rat – Beloved children’s character at Dizzyworld.

- Harry and Marv – Airplane pilots

Review

ARBBH #5 is a bit of a milestone. For one thing, it marks the halfway point of the original series. It is also – sadly – the last issue illustrated by Parsonavich. I’m going to miss his art!

Speaking of which, this one starts out with some interesting cover art. At first I wondered who drew it, since it didn’t look like Parsonavich’s work, and there was nothing mentioned in the credits. Back in the Hamster Droppings section, it says that it was drawn by Mike Dringengberg. Nice. Here is the full page spread:

A Great Cover by Mike Dringenberg, with a little Parsonavich added in

Some of the graffiti: “Karate Lessons – Call Sam”, “P.L.O. Rules”, “Clint wuz here”.

I really liked this issue. I thought it was very funny. It introduces a new character, Clint’s girlfriend Randi. She gets an important role in this story.
 

Randi - Mmm... What a babe!

It kind of makes you wonder if she is going to be the Hamster’s version of April O’Neil. I had high hopes that Myron the badass cab driver would be Casey Jones, but that never panned out. So we shall see!

This issue did a great job of both moving the story forward and keeping things funny. Not an easy task to pull off each issue, but this one does it well. The Hamster disguises are absolutely hilarious.

Again, we are seeing more character development, mainly only for Clint, Jackie, and Chuck. Bruce gets the short end of the stick in that department, unfortunately. He’s just there.

Another solid issue. Recommended.

Favorite Moments

- The Hamsters using socks on their ears as disguises.

- Jackie missing their motor home, and toys.

- The police blockade.

- The kid getting arrested.

- Meeting Rickey Rat, and beating him up.

- “Trollords” look-alike winner.

Memorable Dialogue / Hamsterisms:

- “Hey scumbag, leggo of the knob – I wanna listen to my new Muttley Crue tape, ‘Beagles in Bondage!’”

-“Pee-yuuu! Roll down the window, Eddie! Mongo cut the cheese!”

-“For everyone knows… Thou that smelteth it – dealteth it!”

-“I think we should call him ‘Vince!’”

-“Look, Mommy – Muppets!”

-“Well, why don’t we switch places so you can see the sights? You can do something fun, like count the trees along the road!” “Okay!” “Or the number of dead squirrels!”

-“Excusem wa, Broosk – Gotta use the john!”

-“Hey! The toilet water’s green! Gag me!”

-“405… 406… 407…”

“Yeah!! I remember now! You were the one I butted heads with during ‘Goons of Hazard!’ I snagged my ear on your steel soda pop top necklace and nearly ripped the lobe off – Man, that was GREAT, wasn’t it?”

-“10,312 trees, 10,313 trees…”

“Where’s Clint?” “He’s locking lips with somebody in the back seat!” “Yuck! Cooties!”

-“I think we better call this off before we get some REALLY bizarre genetic mutation, Clint.”

-“Yeah, make like a cow-pie and hit the trail!”

-“Put that away! Violence never solved anything!” “She’s right, Clint.” “Not an algebra problem, anyway.”

-“All right, you ex-cons – we know you’re in there and we’ve got you surrounded! Drop your weapons and come out with your hands up! NOW!!” “But mama – I don’t want to go back to jail!” “Shaddup, you little runt!”

-“Woof! Bark! Tweet!”

-“Good boy! Good boy! There, there – Everything’s all right, poochie!” “Pant, pant.” “Grrrr!”

-“I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but these are the STRANGEST looking dogs I’ve ever seen!” “Uh… er… They’re a mix… part Airedale… Uh,… Cocker Spaniel… Their tails are cut off…”

-“Hey! Who let that crazy dog in here?”

-“I like this disguise – Not only does it work great but it also keeps my ears warm! I mean, Florida’s COLD in the wintertime!”

-“Dizzyworld? Hmmm… But I thought it was called something else…” “It is, but Chin and Parsonavich aren’t eager to be sued!”

-“I like being a dog! I get free food!”

-“It’s clowns like you who make people think rodents are wimps! ‘Man or Mouse’ garbage!”

-“Leggo of me, man! It’s been 22 pages and I ain’t hit anybody yet! I’m goin’ nuts!”

-“First you blow up the Statue of Liberty and then you assault America’s best loved comic character! Next you’ll head-butt Ronald Reagan.” “Hmmm – Sounds like a good idea!”

-“Ricky! Drinking on the job again? Look, I’m sorry but I’ll just have to report this behavior!”

-“Harry, I guess I should tell you now – I’ve been having an affair with your wife for the last six years… Harry?” “Yeah, I wanted to thank you, Marv. My golf game has improved 100 percent!”

Random Thoughts

There’s an important plot point in this issue. Clint remembers that they were supposed to deliver a package to Master Lock’s brother in San Francisco. He asks if it was in the R.V. that sank. Chuck says he shipped it Federal Express the moment they arrived in New York City. Whew! Story plot hole narrowly averted!

Clint apparently has a bumper sticker on the back of his head.
 

I wonder how he keeps that stuck on there?

The police blockade is one of the funniest parts of the story. I especially like the artwork. It’s another one of those odd perspective drawings, where the people are as big as the buildings and the bus itself.


"Around the survivors, a perimeter create!"

 

Parsonavich’s art is always unique, but this is one of those cases where it almost feels like you are looking at a drawing by M.C. Escher. You tell me: Crudely drawn comic artwork, or genius?

Another funny perspective drawing is when the U.S.S. Enterprise suddenly shows up.
 

Wrong Universe, Captain!

There is one scene involving the pilots on the P.L.O.’s plane that is just too funny! I have to show it here:
 

Haha - That is too funny! 

The issue ends on a “To Be Continued” note, though it doesn’t actually say that. The next issue cannot be missed!

Hamster Droppings:

There is no letters page this issue. Bummer! I always enjoy those. There’s nothing quite like reading the rants of deranged fan minds similar to my own.

Don Chin mentions some new products, including Clint miniseries #2, and Hams-Tour t-shirts for sale. The sales pitch is pretty great: “Your love life will never be the same again… trust me.”
 

And to think - We live in a world where these aren't for sale anymore? D'oh!

He mentions the Dark Horse minis again. Not out until fall of 1987. I’m curious if those were ever released. I’ll have to do some digging to see.

He mentions several things that are quite cool. One is that Fantasy Games Unlimited of New York was working on a Hamster game module. Wow! Also, he had met with Epyx computer software to see about developing a video game. The answer was no, but he supplied their address in case fans wanted to write in to change their mind. (Hmmm… Maybe I should write?) As a last ditch effort, he asks for any indie programmer who might be interested.

He says they will be making their first color ARBBH book, co-plotted and illustrated by Sam Kieth. (I misspelled his name in the last review – sorry!) This seems very interesting to me, because I can’t recall that I own any color hamster comics. He says it will be a deluxe format $2.95 book with 48 pages.

Other Hamsters appearances he mentions: Laffin’ Gas #4 (which I own), and Overload #1 by Eclipse (also owned). The first issue of the original Overload was in 1979. It’s too bad Eclipse didn’t keep making these. I liked the first one a lot.

Again he talks about “Hamsters Against Hunger” for helping the hungry. Interesting. And he thanks Tom Martinek and Kevin Harville for the back cover quotes.

Continuing to hawk his latest goods, Chin mentions Enchanter #1 coming in April. (Note: I am happy to hear mention of this, because I bought my own copies of the Enchanter series from Don Chin directly years later, autographed. It was a good series to read.) As he puts it, “I’m pretty proud of it because it shows that I don’t just think about household pets blowing up national monuments all the time!”

He has another comic called “Freak-Out on Infant Earths”, which I need to track down sometime. Drawn by Herb “Mr. Hamster Back-Up” Wood. Speaking of which, I hope I wasn’t too hard on his artwork in #3. It was good, no doubt about it! It just threw me off.

And this is the last issue to be illustrated by Parsonavich??? NOOOOOoooooo!!! But apparently he is working on the new Overload magazine, plus another called “Mental”. I need to look for that.

Don Chin says that Parsonavich has a 3-page story called “Rodent’s Revenge” coming up next issue, where Clint plays host to a Boris-the-Bear lookalike. As a fan of Boris the Bear and back-and-forth story chronicling his vendetta with all Mutant Ninja Critters, I am looking forward to reading this.

He says Parsonavich left on good terms, just didn’t renew his contract. And that his real name is Patrick. Don: “I know I’ll miss your unique one-of-a-kind touch on the hamsters and many of the fans will, too.” (Understatement!)

Who will be the new artist? Tune in next issue to see!

Finally, the comic shows ads for “Bullet Crow”, “Floyd Farland, Citizen of the Future”, and something called “Mr. Monster’s Schlock!” That last one deserves special mention. I have no idea what it is exactly, but I’ll just let this one panel for the page say it all:


No Comment.

Rating

Humor             9 / 10
Story                9 / 10
Art                   8 / 10
Style                10 / 10
Overall            9 / 10

P.S. It looks like I did the math wrong on last week’s rating. Also, the term “Style” appears to have little or no meaning, since I like the style almost every comic. Oh well!