Review - Adolescent Radioactive Black Belt Hamsters: Volume 1, Issue 4

In which the group hits the road in search of beer, and become captured by members of a deranged cult...


Eclipse Volume 1, Issue 4

Issue Number: 4
Publisher: Eclipse Comics
Publication Date: November, 1986

Editor: Don Chin
Editor-in-Chief: Catherine Yronwode
Assistant Editor: Sean Deming
Publisher: Dean Mullaney
Pitcher: Fernando Valenzuela
Art: Parsonavich
Master Letterer: Sam Wray

Also: Hamster wardrobe furnished by After Six. Hairstyles by Pierre. This has been a Merv Griffin Enterprises production. Printed in a printing plant.

Cover Price: $1.50
Current Price: $1.10

Preface
 

It starts with Catherine Yronwode’s editorial, titled “Penumbra”. I had to look up what this means:

     Penumbra – “A space of partial illumination (as in an eclipse) between the perfect shadow on all sides and the full light.”

How apt! Cool.

Her editorial talks about a friend wasting their talents, selling out his or her artistic creativity for big bucks. Interesting, but odd. It begs the question, who is this person? And how did he or she feel about Ms. Yronwode writing about them?

On the page is an ad for Reid Fleming #1. I’ve gotta buy those sometime!

Story
 

After the prison break, the Hamsters are watching the news inside their new(?) Winnebago. A newscaster describes the carnage, and shows pictures of the fugitives. Watching it makes Clint thirsty, so he goes to get some beer. To his horror, they are out of beer.

The Hamsters leave in search of beer, and drive to Georgia. They stop in a town called Edith, in Georgia’s Okeefenokee swamp lands. They find a small convenience store, but it is late at night so the store is closed. Clint and Bruce break into the store anyway, intending to leave $500 behind to pay for damages.

While this is going on, Jackie wakes up. Still addled from the two times he has been shocked, his brain has switched into a new personality: The WW1 Flying Ace version of Snoopy. He wanders into the swamp, looking for his “sopwith camel”. Along the way, he gets followed by a large monster called The Heap. The Heap observes, also protecting him. The Heap was once a WW1 pilot himself, flying for Germany.

Back in the store, while eating an entire carton of malted milk balls, Clint is stopped by Homer, the store owner, with his wife Elsie. Home holds a gun on them and tells Elsie to call the sheriff.

In the swamp, Jackie finds his “Sopwith camel”, which is actually an outhouse. He sits on top of it, imagining he is flying. When he takes a toy German plane out, the Heap decides he wants it, and takes it. Startled, Jackie passes out.

Sheriff Brown arrives at the store, and arrests Clint, Bruce, and Chuck. While in the car, Bruce laments his lack of distinctive personality, despite the fact that this is their sixth comic book appearance, including two 3-D books. He says that he wants to read more and become smart.

The car is stopped by a figure standing in the middle of the road. It is a member of the evil racist group, the C.C.C. Also known as the Coo Clucks Clan, members of the fanatical religious cult dress like chickens and worship Colonel Sanders.

They demand that the sheriff hand over the “Negroes”. Then they take the three to a room where they torture them by making them watch a Bob Hope Thanksgiving Special and Hee Haw reruns, and then making them listen to the Bee Gees.

The Heap carries Jackie safely through the swamp, and back to the Winnebago. He starts driving it – just like he learned when he was younger in Poland – and then Jackie wakes up. They find the sheriff tied up to a tree, and the Heap accidentally runs over the sheriff’s car. The Winnebago then crashes into the water, and sinks. Jackie and the Heap swim out.

Meanwhile, the CCC takes Clint, Bruce, and Chuck, cover them with 11 herbs and spices, and suspend them over a vat of boiling grease. They start to lower them.

The Heap and Jackie head their way to rescue them. On the way, the Heap beats up an alligator. When they arrive, they beat up the CCC members, and free the others. The Grand Rooster – leader of the CCC – escapes, but is then eaten by an alligator.

It ends with the sun coming up, and the group headed toward California on foot.

Epilog One – Master Lock sees on the news that his pupils are in trouble. He decides to help them, and sets off for America on foot. He gets lost.

Epilog Two – Members of the P.L.O. are let out on parole by the prison warden. He supplies them with firepower, and asks them to kill the Hamsters. His son, Big Eddie, joins them.

New Characters:

- Roger Spudd – ABZ News broadcaster

- The Heap – Former WW1 fighter pilot who has been transformed into a “Swamp Thing”-like monster made of rotting vegetation and covered with hair.

- Homer – Store owner, racist

- Elsie – Homer’s wife

- Dr. Benjamin Spock – Famed Child Psychologist

- Sheriff Brown – Sheriff, whose last name is Brown

- Roy – Random member of the C.C.C.

- Grand Rooster – Leader of the C.C.C.

- Big Eddie – Son of the Prison Warden, Bullhead Baxter

Review
 

Ah, yes. A return to form! This issue is refreshing to read from the start, simply because the Hamsters are back to looking the way they are supposed to. Herb Wood’s art is great, but the style in which he drew the Hamsters clashed a lot with Parsonavich’s look. Now Parsonavich is back, and the story fares much better for it.

A great cover by Parsonavich

The story is interesting. The story picks up after the events of issue 3, but it seems that somewhere between issues 3 and 4, the Hamsters picked up a Winnebago. I’m sure this will be explained somehow. Regardless of where they got it, it is cool.

The Heap is a different kind of monster. Its look is pretty unique. I don’t know if it is a monster with some kind of history or what. I don’t think it appears in any other Hamster comics, but I could be wrong.

Check out that nose!

There are a lot of funny moments and crazy ideas in this comic. The whole thing with the C.C.C. was nuts. I’m also glad that the Hamsters haven’t given up on their quest to get to California. And the epilogue with the P.L.O. coming after them was fitting, and set things up for good stories in the future.

There was no secondary story this time, which I think is a good thing. I like it better when long stories flow from one comic to the next. Gives things a sense of momentum.

Favorite Moments

   - Clint talking tough. 

   - Bruce’s explanation for the Statue of Liberty.

   - Jackie’s brain, and the appearance of Dr. Spock.

   - Chin and Parsonavich arguing.

   - Chin’s Uppity Yuppy Stance.

   - The appearance of Cat Yronwode.

   - The Hamsters being forced to listen to the Bee Gees.

   - The Heap beating up an alligator – which looks nothing like an alligator.

Memorable Dialogue / Hamsterisms:

   - “In the past night, three members of the furry foursome have left a wake of devastation in the Big Apple, the likes of which have not been seen since the great ‘Cabbage Patch Kid’ shortage of 1984. I’m talkin’ mass carnage here, folks.”

   -“I don’t think they got my best side in that picture.” “True, but do you want to bend over and drop your pants for a photo?”

   -“Watch it, Chuckie-Baby, ‘real’ is a four letter word.” “God, gratuitous tough guy talk.”

   -“But, the Statue of Liberty!!!” “Well, we may have gotten a little carried away, but we meant to do the right thing.”

   -“So much for Chuck’s vow of non-violence.”

   -“Calm down, Chuckie-Baby! Ease up! Mellow out! Have a brewski!”

   -“Oh dread!” “What is it? Is a cop hiding in the fridge?” “Worse than that… We’re outta beer!”

   -“Hey, Bruce! Ever seen anyone eat a whole carton of malted milk balls at once?”

   -“Leggo of me! I’m warnin’ you, man – I’m a master of martial ar – ar – artsssss.”

   -“Ahem, you may address me as your highness, King Chin of Hamsterland, peasant! Is that clear?”

   -“Sorry to interrupt your delusions of grandeur… But we’ve got work to do! Deadlines to meet, places to see, fish to feed.”

   -“Fine by me, more time for me to frolic! Yeah!”

   -“Clint, I wanna be smart! I suddenly have this burning desire to learn!” “Well, keep hanging with me and I’ll extinguish it!”

   -“Let me out of this plot line, Chin! You’ve just gotten too freakin’ loopy for me!”

   -“This is torture!” “And then after the Bob Hope Thanksgiving Special with Brook Shields, we go on to Hee Haw Reruns!!!”

   -“How about some vintage ‘Bee-Gees’ tunes, boys?” “Grrr!” “Hey – I think I have this album!”

   -“Uh, student driver… sorry!”

   -“Leggo of the wheel, Harry!”

   -“I think I’m allergic to those 11 herbs and spices they sprinkled on us!”

   -“Aaah! My fillings!!!”

   -“You used to throw alligators like this back in Germany… you think.”

   -“Aaa yes! The thrust of knee into unprotected groin!”

   -“Grab its snozz, Roy! Cut off his air supply!” “Maybe Ray shoudn’ta twisted its snozz!”

   -“If we ever get out of this mess, you’re gonna owe me a new pair of Reeboks! These guys are shot!”

   -“Oh, dawn. Isn’t it beautiful? Isn’t all life just miraculous?”

   -“Well, it’s gonna be a long walk to Dizzyland, but I have a feeling meeting ‘Rickey Rat’ and ‘Darn Old Duck’ will be worth it!”

Random Thoughts

There is a lot to like about this issue. One of the things I like is that the Hamsters are starting to develop distinct personalities. Chuck is the serious, by-the-book good guy. Clint is the badass punk who questions authority. Jackie is the childlike one, who still likes toys. He also has been shocked a few times, so has some split personality issues.

The only one who is lacking in personality is Bruce, which hilariously, he himself points out in this issue. He’s a hamster in search of identity. There is at least one thing about him personally that comes out in this issue though and that is that he likes the Bee Gees. Sounds like my kind of guy!

Parsonavich’s artwork itself can add a lot of humor to these comics. For example, take this panel. It shows the store owner’s wife running for help:

His future wife turned out to be much smaller than her eHarmony.com profile indicated.

Now either she is really, really short. Or else the sense of perspective is a little off here. Either way, it’s funny.

Dr. Benjamin Spock showing up to explain how Jackie’s brain compares to the size of a “normal hamster brain enlarged from cosmic jello radioactivity” is pretty funny. ARBBH has a unique style of occasionally breaking the 4^th wall or showing what is happening outside the comic. I like it when these comics are done that way.

On page 15, it mentions that this is the 6^th issue, including two 3-D books. Aha! Continuity! Maybe… In that case I’m already reviewing these books out of order. Oh well.

The C.C.C. is a funny concept. ARBBH doesn’t mind taking the story in directions that maybe could be considered politically incorrect. Such as the C.C.C.’s motto: “All white meat! No dark meat!” But it does make fun of racism, and the C.C.C. members get what’s coming to them, so that’s a good thing.

The torture scene where Clint, Chuck, and Bruce are forced to watch a Bob Hope special and Hee Haw reruns is hilarious! I also really liked when they were tortured by being forced to listen to the Bee Gees. First it was “Stayin’ Alive”, then “Jive Talkin’”. Ah, another great tune by the Brothers Gibb… And that’s when Bruce says, “Hey – I think I have this album!” That really cracked me up. Haha.


LOL



LOL, Part 2

But… The Bee Gees? Torture? I think not! I love the Bee Gees, man. Get real. If having to listen to them is torture, then hurt me baby! Hurt me good.

There was one piece of art that was kind of odd. It showed a frog, and then something happened to it. Either the frog got smashed by Jackie’s elbow, or it was the view of the frog through Jackie’s eyes as he breathed out a bubble underwater? Either way, no matter how long I studied it, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out this panel:

What to make of it? Any idea what is happening here?

Yes! On page 25, panel 6, we have the best groin shot ever! Brought to you courtesy of Jackie:

Boom! Oh yeah, that's how it's done!

There’s no sign of the package that the Hamsters were supposed to deliver. Maybe they’ve forgotten it? They ARE adolescents, after all. But at least their road trip to California is still underway.

Hamster Droppings:

Chin talks about the successful Hams-tour. He mentions eating nachos and hot dogs for breakfast (yum!).

FATEFUL EVENT: Chin mentions meeting Sam Keith at San Diego Con. Hmmm… I wonder what this might mean for the Hamsters at some point in the future?

He also met Kevin Easton and Peter Laird – cool! Plus Dwayne Ferguson of “Hamster Vice”, and Jim Smith of “Boris the Bear” infamy, including issue #1: “Boris the Bear Slaughters the Teenage Radioactive Black Belt Mutant Ninja Critters”. (I’ll be reviewing that comic later, post Hamsters.)

He mentions that he watched “Aliens” (Awesome!) and “Howard the Duck” (Not so awesome).  

He talks about plans to visit the Dallas Fantasy Fair Nov 12-16. Ah, Dallas… city of my birth, and still feels like home. At the time he wrote this, I was 10 years old, living in Texarkana. That’s only a short 3-1/2 hour drive away from some fun Hamsterdom. But as fate would have it, I wasn’t allowed to drive yet. True story.

It turns out that ARBBH 3-D #3 is in fact what was planned to be the Halloween Special. Glad to know I didn’t miss it!

At last! Chronology. Mr. Chin lays out the correct order of the Hamster stories so far:

     1. ARBBH #3

     2. NICK #1 (Naïve Interdimensional Commando Koalas)
     3. 3-D #2
     4. 3-D #3
     5. ARBBH #4

He says this is getting “more confusing than Marvel’s Mutant massacre”! Haha… Yeah. That’s funny. It also means that I’m reviewing these out of order, but oh well. I’ve gone too far to go back now. I’ll cover the 3-D issues and the Clint miniseries after I finish the main series.

There’s a lot of other cool stuff he mentions, including some items that would be extremely hard to find nowadays, if you wanted to buy it:

   - Hams-tour T-Shirts – Only 100 printed.

   - ARBBH Lead gaming miniatures set by Dark Horse – Wow! I have to look for these :)
   - Hamsters Against Hunger draftbook for sale.
   - “Freak Out on Infant Earths” by Blackthorne Publishing – A story by Don Chin and Herb Wood.
   - Hamsters mentioned on Jeopardy! It was on the Oct 3^rd show.
   - They sent copies of 3-D #1 and Clint #1 to David Letterman, with a letter writing campaign asking him to mention them. Was this successful? I tend to doubt it, but that would be pretty awesome for sure.

The Letters Page Contributors (Hamster Hall of Fame):

This issue they are:

   Tom Parker – St. Paul, MN

   Elvis Orten – Dawson Springs, KY (A repeat offender!)

   Keith J. Sereby – Pawtucket, RI

   Stephen Wood – Blue Ridge, GA

   An Obviously Important Comic Book Critic – Somewhere in Richmond, VA

   Mike (Thrash 4-ever) Meley – Mountville, PA

   Richard Chang – Westbury, NY

   Stevie Wonder
 
Think that appearance by Stevie Wonder is for reals? Here’s what he wrote:

“Dear Brothers Chin and Parsonavich,

        Thank you very much for the comic books you sent me to look at. It was greatly appreciated.
              Your friend,
              Stevie Wonder”

Hmmm… Seems legit to me!

The letters page confirms that Parsonavich did the cover for issue #3. I had wondered. It is still pretty amazing to me that an artist could sculpt something that ends up having the exact same style and look as his drawings. That’s a lot of talent. It sounds like it was maybe made from Play-doh? The colors are certainly bright enough. Anyway, Photographer Peter Palmquist took the photo.

I like what Keith J. Sereby says. He says that Parsonavich’s portraitures of the Hamsters resemble “mildly battered, oversized Airedale fetuses”. LOL! He also says the same thing about the artwork in #3 that I did.

It is also mentioned that some early Chin and Parsonavich work appeared in “Overload” magazine issues 1, 2, 3, and 5. Time to scour eBay some more!

Rating

Humor              8 / 10
Story                 8 / 10
Art                    8 / 10
Style                10 / 10
Overall            9.5 / 10