Review – Adolescent Radioactive Black Belt Hamsters: Volume 1, Issue 2

In which our heroes begin an epic road trip across America, but don’t get very far...

Eclipse Volume 1, Issue 2

Issue Number: 2

Publisher: Eclipse Comics (w/ special caption: “Flood Control Comics”)
Publication Date: Spring, 1986

Editor: Don Chin
Artist: Parsonavich

“Man of the Mountains” Short Story:

Writer: Kevin Harville
Artist: Herb “Chip” Wood

Editorial: Mark Evanier

Cover Price: $1.50

Current Price: $1.75

Preface

The issues starts with an editorial by Mark Evanier describing a massive flood in Guerneville, CA, which apparently wiped out Eclipse’s headquarters, along with cat yronwode and two staff member’s (Dean and Sean’s) homes. Yikes! All back issues, gone. This may be the reason for the small “Flood Control Comics” logo on the front.

At the bottom, there is a small line saying: “All rights reserved, but we still have some lefts available… Cover art by Parsonavich, colored by Mike Dringenberg. Nice job, guys. Printed in Canada, eh.” Little touches like that make you want to look over every nook and cranny of these comics, so you won’t miss a single joke!

Story

Immediately following the events of Issue 1, upon landing in New York the hamsters are treated as heroes. The president of the airline presents them with a check for $50,000. Jackie wants to spend it on toys, but the others instead donate it to their favorite charity: the Humane Society.

They get a taxi, and tell the driver to take them to San Francisco. The driver – Myron – balks at first, but is persuaded by the large amount of money the hamsters are carrying. They start off, but before they get far, they decide to get a good night’s rest. They stop in Harlem, and Myron takes them to a hotel he stayed at during his separation, called the “Roach Motel”.

While hanging out with Myron at the hotel, the hamsters notice a group of thugs damaging Myron’s car. He runs outside and nearly single-handedly beats up all the thugs. The hamsters watch, and then finally help out near the end.

After that, Chuck decides to turn in early, while the rest of the hamsters head out with Myron to party. The group goes to a black nightclub called “Shiek Yer Booties”. Inside, Myron starts hitting on the ladies with lame one-liners, and incidentally invents break dancing.

In the restroom, Jackie starts complaining to Clint that he wishes he could fit in. Clint talks Jackie into nearly electrocuting himself, turning himself black with burns. This causes Jackie to become an immediate hit with the ladies.

Meanwhile, back at the hotel, a sleeping Chuck is surrounded by 10-foot tall roaches.

The three hamsters leave the club, and go to see a movie triple header: “Rambo, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and Deathwish III”.

Here comes trouble!

 

Upon exiting, the hamsters are dizzy, brainwashed with violence coupled with blind patriotism. They become “G.I. Hamsters… Real American Rodents!” and decide to go on a mission to rid the city of moral decay. They start by heading to “Sergeant Striker’s” Army-Navy Surplus store, where they load up on guns, grenades, and explosives.

Bruce then blows up a porn store with a bazooka (“Mom & Pop’s Porn Shop – Handmade Goods”). A drug dealer is stopped by Indihama Jones a.k.a. Jackie. And Hambo a.k.a. Clint frees all the animals in the pet store.

Spotting a nearly naked woman in the distance, the group hot-wires a Harley motorcycle and starts driving toward it. The get chased by police, and end up crashing on a boat by the docks. Spotting the statue of the woman nearby, they break out the plastic explosives and blow it up. The woman turns out to be the Statue of Liberty.

P.S. There is also a short story called “Black Belt Hamsters: The Early Years – Man of the Mountains”. In this, the young hamsters are sent on a mission by Master Lock to find the Yeti. They find it, and it turns out to be Master Lock. He did it all to teach them all a lesson, that sometimes people aren’t very nice.

New Characters:

   - Jack Frost – President of Frigid-aire Airlines
   - Myron – Cab driver, and overweight brawler extraordinaire
   - Big Bertha – Mistress of Morphine
   - Ernie – A 10-foot tall roach, with his two friends
   - Quentin – Drug dealer and common street thug

Review

A very nice follow up to the first issue. It was loaded with hilarity and mayhem. I loved it!

There were two bits that were kind of eyebrow-raising. One was a comment made by Myron about Harlem. And then later, the gag with Jackie being turned black. I was wondering if there was a chance the comic had crossed the line. But this thought totally pays off when on page 9, the comic in interrupted by an angry black mom showing up at Don Chin’s house, complaining about how he is stereotyping black Americans, and then proceeding to beat the ever-loving crap out of him. It is some seriously funny stuff!

With Don Chin in a body cast and hyped up on painkillers (morphine), the story resumes, and takes a turn for the insane. That’s when the hamsters go to see the violent movies, and come out on their moral crusade. The rest is frantic and wacky, with the icing on the cake being the blowing up of the Statue of Liberty. Now, it shouldn’t be funny to laugh about something like that. It so terribly, absolutely WRONG… But the comic does it anyway, and they pull it off in such a way that it is hilarious.  

The story isn’t long enough though. There’s a filler story at the end, a mini-tale about the younger hamsters. I didn’t like this, honestly. The art was okay but the story wasn’t good. It’s not that it was bad. It just wasn’t funny. If it’s not going to be funny, then why bother? But that seems to happen often with the ARBBH as a whole. Moments of comic genius, mixed with moments of “meh”. This is the first low point, but this kind of thing happens occasionally. You just keep reading, because you know there is going to be great stuff sooner or later.

Favorite Moments

- The Roach Motel.

- Myron beating up the street thugs while all the Hamsters just sit back and watch.

- The hamsters going to a black nightclub in Harlem.

- Don Chin getting beat up.

- The gagging maggot.

- Clint lighting up a cigar.

- The roaches’ conversation while Chuck is sleeping.

- Clint freeing all the animals in the pet store – including the fish.

Spot any cameos?

Memorable Dialogue / Hamsterisms:
 

- “Chuckie-baby – This is New York. The subtle approach just ain’t gonna cut it around here!”

- “Gross! Somebody barfed back here!”

- “Don’t you think we should help him? People aren’t paying a buck-fifty to watch an overweight cabby beat up four punks!”

- “Hey babe, wanna date?” “No thanks – I prefer raisins!”

- “Beer – uh – root flavored.”

- “Hey babe! Wanna get down with Myron th’ Maniac?”

- “C’mon, Ernie! We’re 10 feet tall – He’s just a little guy. Getting in his ears is physically impossible!”

- “Calm down, Chin! Nurse! Nurse! Give this man more morphine! While you’re at it, give me some too!”

- “ I hear sirens! Somebody sent the cops after us!” “Which means we gotta make like a baby and head out!”

- “Should we take her out with a bazooka, boss?” “Or how about the case of heavy hand grenades?” “Neither, men! The perfect solution for a job of extraordinary magnitude like this one – Bring out the plastique!”

Random Thoughts

The cover art is again pretty interesting. The colors are really well done. Similar to the first issue, you have to see the front and back together to get the whole picture.

This issue features “Hamster Droppings” – the first ever ARBBH editorial and letters page! It is written by Don Chin which again has some super hilarious stuff, such as: “We’d love to do a color issue, but Parsonavich cringes at the thought of having to apply crayons to several thousand issues.”

It seems Chin and Parsonavich met in their sophomore year at Eureka High School in 1979. (That would place them about 13 years older than me, but I digress…) It mentions their previous work in magazines called Choke, Strip Tease, and Overload. Don Chin at the time of writing this was still in college, and was working as a waiter, and the co-owner of a comic book store called “Comic Castle.”

Incidentally, Don mentions the phone number for Comic Castle, and encourages readers to call him!

[Note: Here’s a tip: Don’t call that number. Unable to resist, I called it. A kindly but slightly annoyed gentleman answered. Scared, I hung up. Then I gathered my courage, and called again. The same kindly gentlemen – only more annoyed – answered once more. When I asked about Comic Castle, he patiently but wearily explained to me that “That number on the web is wrong, and has been wrong for many years.” So if you’re reading this, please don’t call that number! Leave the poor man alone. Thank you.]

After the editorial comes the letters page, which to this day I always enjoy reading. In fact, I tend to eschew graphic novel compilations of comics just because I know I will miss all the interesting fan letters. This one is no different. Now introducing…

The Letters Page Contributors (Hamster Hall of Fame):

This issue they are:

            -          Dennis Owens – Long Beach, CA
            -          Danny Chang – Richmond, CA
            -          Brian Hagen – Santa Rosa, CA (What’s with all the Californians? Ah, here:)
            -          Uncle St. Elvis Orten – Dawson Springs, KY

Think that last one is a real name? Anyways…

One interesting thing to note is that Danny Chang encourages Don Chin to “cut down on the gross stuff (like p. 9, panel 2). Intrigued, I went back to the first issue to find out just exactly what this offense was:

WARNING: This Image Suited for Immature Audiences Only!!!

Wow. A ball shot. Yeah, that really was a doozy. I can see how that would be VERY offensive. Not to mention tasteless, tacky, crass, etc. Thank you Mr. Chang for providing moral clarity on this important issue!

The final bit has some nice art by Ty Templeton, which incidentally, later makes it onto the front page of Parody Press Issue 1 (Gold):



Artwork by Ty Templeton - Very Nice!



Rating

Humor             9 / 10 (reduced by the short story, but raised by the letters page)

Story               8 / 10 (reduced by the shortness, but made up by the content)
Art                   9 / 10
Style                10 / 10

Overall            9 / 10